Through My Eyes

Jiggity Jig.

Yes, I’m back in New York

I took my last final yesterday afternoon, and then my dad arrived. From that moment on, we were just packing the car. After packing, getting my room checked, and saying goodbye to my friends, it was an 8 hour trek back to NY, where I did most of the driving. It’s kind of refreshing to be back, but it feels weird at the same time. I feel like I can still go across the hallway and knock on my friend’s door and bug her until she agrees to let me play Oregon Trail (where I learned the trading system the hard way and accidentally traded one of my horses for a mirror). Or go next door and ask for a broom to borrow really quickly, or go down the hall to the friend with the car and say “Heyyy…um…Wanna make a run to Sheetz?” It’s weird.

It’s only May and I’m on summer vacation? Weird.
I never got out of school until late June, and now to be done just seems surreal.

But alas, I am finished with my freshman year at SBC I promise to get more into it next time I post, which WILL be soon (seeing as you know, I’m on vacation). I just need sleep.

Sleep sounds really good.

I feel very compelled right now to break out into a round of “IT’S THE FINAL COUNT DOWN!” but I’ll spare all of your ears and won’t. But it really is the final countdown for a few reasons. Finals, Summer, Jobs, oh and the National Decision Deadline.

So! You’ve been accepted to a school or 10 and MAYBE, just maybe, you still haven’t made a decision yet. You still have time. It’s not the end of the world. I remember when I was in the hotseat making my decisions. I had four schools on the tables that I all really liked. They varied in size from ~800 (Sweet Briar!) to ~7,000. I refused to look into schools with student populations greater than that 7000. My high school was only 1600 and I felt lost among all the students. I knew that I wanted a small school from the get-go, but campus visits also made me reconsider that. I also had gotten myself into a situation where I was either going to school in Virginia or New York, so that was something to consider. Did I want the option of going home on the weekends? Or was I fine with just visiting every once in a while?

What about price? Could my family afford the school? Was it better to spend this much now and pay it off later? What about the academics? Did they have what I wanted? Did I have leeway in courses? Was I confined to a set structure of standards? Why did I have to make this decision at 17?

Re-lax. I know many people had said that to me along the way, but seriously, Re. Lax. You’re going to feel like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders when you finally decide to put the deposit in. Then you’re set! And I guarantee you, that sometime after, you’ll think to yourself “Did I make the right decision? Was that a good idea to have done that?” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Like my parents told me, “If things don’t work out for you, you can always transfer.”

Going to college isn’t about going for others sake. It isn’t about letting people down or making them happy. It’s about making yourself happy. You need to find the place that feels like home to you. If it doesn’t feel like home at first, just give it some time. See if maybe it’s just the awkward “What do I do now?” phase. But if it keeps on creeping back at you for the next few months? Maybe it wasn’t the right choice, simple that.

What I’m saying is no matter where you go, you have to find your happy place, as cheesy as that sounds. Be happy, love what you’re doing, and send in that deposit!

I apologize for the late post. Literally. It’s 10:49 when I start this post. Who knows when I’ll be done with this. But I promise I’ll be posting more soon, promise

I got back to Sweet Briar on March 20th and yay-o-clock at night. After a week of soul searching and exploring who I was in Chicago, I was ready to come back. And as soon as I stepped foot onto campus, I hit the ground running. I’ve been ultra busy this semester, but never more so than now. Between class registration coming up, people needing things, friends, classes, projects, homework, I haven’t had time to breathe. Nevertheless, I persevere.

It’s good to be back here though. If you stop over at SJ’s blog, you’ll see everything about Junior Week, which was just last week when we got back. It was weird seeing everyone in costume and I’m shaking just thinking about my junior year.

This weekend was also the first Overnight Open House for Accepted Applicants. I remember last year, I went to the April one, handed in my deposit, and well, the rest is history. Like one of the last open houses, it was interesting seeing everything from a different point of view. Last time, it was students who were interested, this time, they had been accepted. It’s a great feeling to be accepted, wherever you’re accepted to. You feel like you’re going somewhere, like you belong. And it’s not even strictly limited to schools. Getting accepted for a job position, accepted by your friends, peers, professors, family, anything. I’ll be touching on making that big decision in my next post, so we’ll leave it there for now

On that note, I leave you with this photo I took of campus today coming out of Benedict following my last class of the day

Spring Break officially started at 5:30 PM today. Almost all of my friends and hallmates were gone except for a few of us. Three of us are going to Chicago for break, and the fourth is driving us to the train station. Yes, I WILL be on a train from 10 AM tomorrow, Saturday, until 8 AM Sunday. I might be a little bit crazy, but I think everything’s gonna work out.

Campus is so so quiet though. No one was walking around, nobody had their window open and was playing music in the lower quad, no one was laughing, screaming, talking, nothing. It was dead silent and very peaceful.

For the first time since move-in, I was able to just sit and listen and look at everything. You don’t realize how much you just take for granted when you live at a place like this. No matter what school, it’s always the same. When it’s quiet, you see things you never saw before. Like today, when I was sitting outside in the lower quad looking up at Meta Glass, I saw a view of the building I never saw before. Had I not done that, I probably would not have seen that.

This spring break though, I’m going to do a little “soul searching.” I’ve been needing to do something like this for awhile. Just keep a personal diary, a little notebook, just about things on my mind and things I want to do. Everything is changing around me, and for those of you about to embark on the daunting task of choosing a school, a career, or just a life path in general, things will start changing for you.

Just breathe though. Step outside when it’s dead quiet. Just sit there. Appreciate, contemplate, and think about what’s there.

I remember back in 6th grade, my science teacher, Mr. Slutsky, told us about his theory on his students’ grades. First quarter, everything went fine, you did well, easy. Second quarter, things got a little bit harder, but overall, everything was alright. Third quarter? The Drop.

Right now, if I remember my high school’s system well enough, considering I graduated only last year, this would be the third quarter. The Drop. You’re through with one semester already. Maybe you messed up in a few places, maybe you royally messed up. Or maybe you did extremely well. Third quarter comes? You kind of want to keel over and hope to whatever powers that be that everything will be done for you…as soon as you get this last nap in, you promise. Or as soon as you stop being sick (which is hard to do when living in close quarters with approximately 20 other people). I’m feeling the drop. I’m feeling the slowness. I’m feeling the lull in my motivation.

Haven’t you all noticed? I’ve been posting sparingly. I have three drafts started, but the Drop keeps hitting me and I lose my drive for the moment…and never touch back onto it until I finally build up a drive. I’ve been trying to work up my drive though, I’ve been trying to fight through the Drop. I’ve been listening to more music lately, in hope that some of it will inspire me to do something great, wonderful, creative, productive. I’ve been trying to get more organized. I’ve been checking my planner every day (I’ve gone through 4 planner systems already. I MIGHT have an addiction to planners.). And I’ve been trying to stay hydrated and…awake. Which means drinking a lot of water and setting alarms at 15 minute intervals so that I eventually get so annoyed with hearing my alarm that I have to wake up and turn it off.

I am greater than this Drop and I am 100232039829032% sure I can conquer it. Right? Right.

And PS, the fourth quarter, everything went back to normal and we all lived happily ever after

Two weeks ago, or so (give or take), I was able to go to the famous Faculty Show This show only happens once every four years, and I was lucky enough for it to happen in my first year! Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to take photos or video, but success! Whilst scouring YouTube I was able to find this gem. The Curse of King Mut.

Starring the dachshunds of two of SBC’s faculty, Cathy Gutierrez and Eric Casey, this is definitely a must see

So, I’m back on campus, (have been for 6 days, sorry) and I’m sitting in my bed underneath my favorite blanket. My roommate is out at class right now and I’ve just been thinking about a few things. Not including what I learned from classes, what did I learn during my first semester at college?

• Avoid Prothro like the plague on Tuesdays and Thursdays. OR get there REALLY early.
• You begin to get mad at the USPS for shutting down so many post offices because sometimes the highlight of your day is going to your mailbox and seeing there’s something in it!
• If you learn nothing else in school, you will learn how to pop the perfect bag of popcorn. Without burning it. And in the case of one of my friends, open a can of soda/pink lemonade.
• Although you guesstimate your room is about 10′x12′, there are MANY ways it can be organized
• There are MANY uses for a Swiffer (measuring, kung-fu, defending your turf, actually cleaning [side note: The beds in Meta Glass are exactly one Swiffer and two rulers long])
• When you receive a care package and people notice, they will occasionally swoop in to see what you won’t want from it. Example: One of my friends, AI, received a thing of peanuts in her package and she’s not a big fan of them. She offered them to me and voila, I now have a jar of peanuts on my desk.
• SweetCash disappears. Magically. especially after so many late night bistro runs
• Your floor will become your family.
• Sleeping on a textbook will NOT help you absorb the reading.
• Bring everything. You never know what you’re going to want or need at some random time.
• Bring clothes for ALL kinds of weather. It can be warm one day, but the next, you might need some boots.
• Coffee is not always your friend
• Sometimes, people need to be metaphorically slapped in order to notice things right in front of their face.
• Don’t assume.
• Video games are a great stress reliever (See “4th Floor of Meta Glass in Reid Pit playing Just Dance 2 every other night” for reference)
• Your RA will NOT bite.
• There are two things that are universal: Harry Potter and GLEE.

There’s probably a lot more I could put down, but I’ll leave it at that for now

So, I think it’s about time I post this video. This is one of the new promotional videos for Sweet Briar, and I feel that it came out 100x better than I had expected. The new campaign was a bit of a…change for us, as we had been “fed,” so to speak, “THINK is for Girls” for YEARS before we came to SBC. This video though, shows a lot more of the school and from what I can understand, they’re planning to make more.

PS: I’m in this video You can find me in a few places, but here’s a little something that my friends love to point out.

Background: When I was 7, I noticed something different about my toes. The “ring toe” on my left foot had stopped growing. Fast forward to about, a month ago, and I finally look up my toe on google. It’s called brachymetatarsia of the fourth toe.

So if you look closely at this one still…

Say hello to my little toe

Did I mention I’m home? I came home on Monday December 13th, left the Pink Bubble at 5:10 AM to catch a train at the Amtrak station in Lynchburg and got into New York Penn Station an hour early (How my train did that, I really don’t know). I sat for my two finals on Sunday and then packed whenever I could during the day. I didn’t realize how much stuff I had at school until I tried to pack. When you’re limited to only two pieces of carry on, not including a laptop bag, you’re extremely limited. I was squeezing things into my bags left and right, trying to make sure everything came home. I bought 3/4 of my wardrobe, my clarinet, books, my laptop, various other things…and my stuffed bunny, Sabeta (Suh-BEH-tah). Yes, I am 18. Yes, I am in college. Yes, I walked around Penn Station with three pieces of luggage, a clarinet and a bunny. But it’s little things like that that help at school.

I’ve had Sabeta since before I was one; I got her my first Easter. My parents have a photo of me sitting on the couch, all smiling, next to Sabeta; she was bigger than me at the time. Over the years, I have acquired many, many, MANY more, most of whom have names. I also took a small portion of this Stuffed Animal Army with me to SBC. Sure, I had a whole bag devoted to my stuffed animals, but I didn’t care. It was going to be in my room, right? And when you go away to school, the phrase “Make yourself at home,” gets taken very much so to heart. The place, wherever you do wind up, is going to be your home for the next few months, at least. The next few years.

But coming home again was odd for me. I hadn’t been home since reading days, but it felt like just yesterday I was here. While at school, it feels like an eternity passes from the time that you finally set yourself up in your dorm room to the time where you use your housekeys for the first time in months. But once you get there, it’s immediately back to normal.

But I digress.

It’s the little things that matter in school. I bought my Stuffed Animal Army with me because it makes it better for me. It makes it feel a little more like home. I took a few books with me that I like and I know that I could always go back to. I took my instruments (a bass guitar, acoustic guitar, flute, and two clarinets) because I know there would be times when I got bored and wanted to just play something for a few minutes. I took my PlayStation, because I knew that sometimes, I’d want to play a few games or something to try and blow off some steam. I bought a whole bunch of little things that mattered to me. And a little goes a long way.

As the end of the semester looms closer, I’m looking back on choices I have made over the semester. Some of them I like, some of them not so much. The biggest change I would make would be to have taken a Math or Science course. I was afraid to take a course, thinking I’d fail and seem so stupid while in one. But I realized about midway through the semester that I actually enjoy that kind of thing. It dawned on me while my friends were doing chemistry homework in the hall one night.

There was this one problem they couldn’t figure out for the life of them. No one could get the answer, it didn’t work out. I had taken one chemistry course in High School, my senior year, and while it hadn’t been the best, I had a basic grip of Chemistry. So I asked them if I could look at it. After a few minutes, I had figured out the problem. They all asked me HOW I had done it, and when I showed them how, they all saw that it was really fairly simple. And in that moment, I realized I enjoy doing things like that; formulas, calculators, math, science, I enjoy that. But what held me back? My fear of failure.

I was afraid to be in that course, I was afraid to take a science. Now? I wish I did. I miss science, I miss math. I love Spanish, love studying Religions, but part of me feels like I have a calling for science. I had always wanted to be a scientist when I was younger. I was the odd girl, who had 2 or more microscopes and would always be buying those premade slides at Toys R Us instead of going gaga over Barbie dolls. But when I got older, it started being shown to me that no, girls don’t do science. Women taught English, Social Studies, Languages. Women didn’t teach math. Women didn’t teach science. It was a male dominated field that I was introduced to by my father. Women weren’t welcome.

Now, I have a chance to come back. I want to take a science course, but my schedule next semester won’t allow for it, sadly. Nevertheless, I’ll do it someday. Heck or high water, I’ll do it.